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On Letting Go

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‘Save yourself the fall,’ I said the last time you noticed me standing in the corner of an empty hallway.
‘Save yourself the misery,’ I told you the last time you saw me on the bus riding alone with Orlando tucked in between my hands.
‘Save yourself and me,’ I asked you the last time you stumbled upon me during my solo trail.
Save us both because seven nights and eight days later, none of us will be saved.
Because seven nights and eight days later, we will sink into a new misery every hour
You ask me ‘why.’
‘Why’ because you see, I am all the things you will not be able to experience.
And like all the cliched lover, I will leave you,
telling you that ‘it doesn’t work.’
‘Why’?
Because I am all the blues, you will never color.
Because I am too much of poetry for you to understand in one day.
Because I am a hot coffee mug which will burn your taste buds and make you feel like an insomniac after that,
Because the memories of warm kisses stay longer than the shorter cold ones.
Because I am a dandelion whose, roots will try to reach out to yours, and on some days you won’t like it.
Like a dying dandelion, I will ask you for hope,
I will expect you to tell me that there is still life inside me,
tell, that my roots run deeper than any other flower.
But no, you will be too much in love with me to voice that,
And all you will then repeat is, ‘I love you.’
Your love won’t keep me alive
And there lies the whole point,
why fall for someone who does not keep you alive?
Why fall into something that kills you from inside?
Maybe that is what death feels like.

Often there are days when I press my hand hard on my ribs
They get warm.
Don’t you see, that on wintry days like these, I don’t need your palms,
Or your long overcoats.
I don’t want to share the pockets of your jacket,
In which, you would often treasure the warmth of our love.
Don’t you see that all I want is my deepened sense of sadness
and you to lie beside me?
I don’t want you to solve the misery of me.
I don’t want you to resolve my tragedy.
So I let you go.
I let you go and don’t ask you to stay.

On letting the love go, I tell you,
The reader, that it is the easiest thing to do when it’s done.
But it is the hardest when you walk away,
That it is the hardest when you try to save,
Yourself and your love.
Maybe that is why,
Maybe that is why we don’t save the people we love,
We let them bruise their knees,
We let their hands bleed
We just let them be,
In love.

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